[Insert story title]

3.  Annoying Things

  1. Fat, lazy, orange hamsters, like the two my sister owns.  She calls them the Brunos and they bite whoever or whatever reaches in their cage, before even opening their eyes, and neither release their grip until they’ve drawn blood.

  2. Nathan’s secretary, who writes, “your welcome” instead of “you’re welcome.”

  3. People who yell, “Where you at?!?” into cellphones.

  4. People at home who drive giant pickup trucks and cross over three lanes of traffic, almost sideswiping others in the process, so as not to miss the closest “Nothin’ But Smokes.

  5. Paying money to look at nature and the people who try to sell it.  I mean, really, why should I pay five dollars to go look down a hole?  E.g. The Royal Gorge, Grand Canyon.

  6. Mimes, Clowns and a capella singers.  All are too happy, and overly excited.  That’s why Steven King writes stories like “It.”

  7. Men who lie about their age, job, past, desires.

  8. Warm white wine.

Catherine’s Pillow Book