Call and Response

07:40, Day One. Subject awakens, somewhat affected by 178 ml. Scotch consumed in previous evening. Douses lamps. Uses bathroom. Takes brief, cold shower. Dries off, dresses, goes to larder, elects not to eat.

08:07. Returns to writing desk. Sees cell phone. Seizes, activates, presses 9-1-1. Hears: "You have reached the Center for Research in Media. At the tone, please leave an extensive message."

08:08. Terminates connection. Punches long-distance access code. Hears: "These are the names of the trees. The larch, the oak, the chestnut, the elm, the ash, the maple, the hickory, the pine, the yew, the locust, the fir, the cedar, the birch, the walnut, the willow, the beech, the cherry, the sweetgum, the alder--" Rings off.