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The Who's Who of the Ministars of the Minispectacle (selected listing)

Situationist International #1 (June 1969)

Nothing would be more erroneous than the belief that those who become something instead of remaining someone have not fully merited this tranformation.
— J. Weber

Albert, sue, see: Reuben, Jerry

Bookchin, Murray: Theoretical Smokey the Bear; laughs when tickled. See also: Epitaph to Bookchinism.

Brown, H. Rap, see: Carmichael, Stokely plus more shouting.

Clavert, Greig: Ditch him as irrelevant.

Carmichael, Stokely: Originator of 'black power' confusion. Ministar press seeker, black parliamentary constituency builder. Presently residing with either (1) with wife in house of mother-in-law, or (2) residing in $75,000 house that he paid cash for (to survive). Cadre of tourism. Could be found organizing a black (Democratic?) voting bloc somewhere in the DC vicinity. Recently switched preference from SNCC reformist decentralism to Panther centralist reformism; thereafter to slip from public eye and petty separatist squabbles to the relief of all but the ideologists.

Cleaver, Eldridge: Following Rob Williams, hopefully to Maoland. Refer also to Reuben, Jerry as his favorite son for vice-president.

Davidson, Carl: Minimal point theoretician. Swallows Baran-Sweezy. Moralizaes on the Guardian toilet paper and New Left rag on the psychological attitudes to take toward white workers. Is in limbo on the working class. Still argues the necessity of the vanguard party. Does not know content from cloak. Castro and Mandel got him evenly by the tail. Habitual loser.

Dellinger, Dave, see: Reuben, Jerry plus less shouting. Anarchist friend of Castro.

Garson, Marvin: Pacified along with the pacification of the Haight-Ashbury crowd.

Gordon, Jeff: Cop posing as a maoist priest or priest posing as a maoist cop.

Gottlieb, Bob: Grub in outmodel avant-garde costume; dirty collar intellectual, professional parasite and local minichief of manipulation. New theory: class society has disappeared, except for a surface of alienation. His problem: write a new Capital without classes, labor, production, revolutionary agent and so on and so on. Technology fetishist.

Hayden, Tom: Ex-reform Democrat, now social democrat and boy scout. Professional manipulator of the little meetings of little student revolts of which he also likes to be the Chairman. Impudent name dropping pacifist in the war zone. Incapable constituency snatcher and co-director in the lamentable body count in the Chicago anti-war insane asylum. Parliamentarist, still voting, be it with his feet.

Hoffman, Abbey: Shrewdly left behind by his cabalist contemporaries Ginsberg and Leary, he still roams hippy hill turning over the garbage. An artistico-politico counselor of sorts, the Billy Graham of youthful zombies. He pragmatically tinkers with any political garbage available — Castro, Vietnam, McLuhan — which an average intellegence would recognize to be the antithesis to the fun without work and money he says he dreams of. Has view of the transformation of life that equals the short change of the electric circus (which bills itself as "the ultimate legal entertainment experience"). With the decline of Julius Lester, activism, and pacifism, this pacification agent is up for sale to any chemistry lab. Gas mask required.

J.J.: Historically ridiculous; has no last name.

Klonsky, Mike: Pacifist high priest and mini-inquisitor of monkey-business.

Marcus, Lynn: state and revolution fetishist.

Morea, Ben: Circular artist and Bakuninist Howdy Doody. Beyond his abuse of Reich, enjoys as a revolutionary feast the cyclic digestion of peanut butter sandwiches, hard-boiled eggs with an occasional carrot. Presently patriarch of the loose affinity group, the UAW/MF who, having shaped their proletarian conditions, will tribally redeem the proletariat. Spectacularly and vainly claiming the miserable streets for the people; beating the mafia to the monopoly on light shows and the acid supermarket. Main neuromaniacal stand: "Bourgeois art is dead but I love Pollock."

Ogelsby, Carl: Chief ideologist, creep defender of stalinism. Speech monopolist, pep talker and politico-geographical freak. Uncalled mediator between SDS regions of his creation, maintains a shabby shuttle service between anti-war corporate liberals and their student constituents. Issue strategist. Notably engineer of the great return to the so-called anti-racist struggle. Self-proclaimed poet of incoherence and confusion, seeks to contain the possible proletarian feast to a Harvardist rock and roll party.

Reuben, Jerry: Obnoxious little guru to be. Originally a mindless faithful Castro freak. Pretends to lead the confused hoards beyond political alienation into the realm of religion. Poses as heroic camera guerilla, eats off and is swallowed by the prevailing spectacle. Mystic mystifier and mythomaniac, struggles only on the level of appearances. Expedient maoist, is compatible with the ideology of tolerant confusion; can be found together with Abbey Hoffman, Sue Alpert, Dave Dellinger, SDS and Peace and Freedom Party.

Rudd, Mark: Historically ridiculous; see also: J.J.

Seale, Bobby: Administers breakfast in exchange for the Panther salute.

SDS telephone: Instrument to staisfy the narcissism of inflated junior executives.

Sinclair, John: Lysergic acid derivative; poetry racketeer; petty publisher; profiteer on diluted decibles; Founder of White Panther Party, dopey.

Selected Abbreviations:

BPL: Black Power Leeches

BPPSD: Breakfast Party Poopers for Self Defense (or Self-digestion)

CP: Capitalist Pimps, see also derivatives: PL, SS, YAWF, etc. . . .

FPP: Outright (see SS)

LID: Lid

MF or mfr: Media freak

PFP: Poor Fools Party

PL: Political Leech

SDS: Sons of Democratic Satraps or Social Democratic Spit

SG or sgdd: Socialist grandaddy

SR: Socialist rabies (or rabbis)

SS: Stalinist Scum

TF or tfr: Technology freak

UAW/MF: Unsightly Atavistic Worms/see MF

Wlg: Women's Liberation grunts

YAWF: yawf or yuk

M A N

If you smash the educational system that bores you, that's what they'll call you the rest of your life.